I: Accepting Change Is Inevitable.

I’ve never needed an adjustment period when ‘change’ is involved. Not to any great lengths anyway. I pride myself on being someone who needs change. Thrives on it even. Too much routine and I was out of there, smothered by similarities and ‘the norm’.

This requirement of change in my situation however completely threw me. As Baz Luhrmann so accurately put it, ‘The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on an idle Tuesday’. While it wasn’t a Tuesday, he couldn’t be more spot on.

My penciled and unofficial life plan got changed. Without my permission and entirely out of my control. I was not OK with that. For me, only my mind has the right to take control of my decisions, but ironically it was my body that said ‘well actually…’.

The story used to go along the lines of… future Jess grows up, meets a wonderful man and with love, nature and science on their side, creates life, the organic way. That is generally how it goes. However in reality… Jess grows up, suffers blow after blow to her reproductive organs, resulting in near to no functionality. Should a miracle happen and she conceive, the chance of an ectopic pregnancy is roughly 80%.

This certainly equates to no fairy tale ending for me. No-one plans for this initially, no one expects this. Woman are generally raised with the knowledge they will reproduce one day, unaware of the extent of complications they may endure.

But shit happens. And this is where I am now.

I’m a just turned 28 year old woman, not yet ready or wanting to bore children but needing to venture down a scientific and costly path to safety net myself just a little to ensure a chance I can do that one day.

Words to live by

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *